Tuesday morning at 8:30, Dr. Bell performed a tracheostomy on my brother Jody. After having a tube in his throat for almost a full month he was growing weaker as the days went by. Last Sunday, I spent some quality time with Jody and he cried an awful lot. It was so difficult to stay with him as he tried to call out in pain but couldn't. I sang to him a lot and prayed over him. Then Monday evening I went in to see him and he looked so peaceful it was almost scary. Every other visit I have felt very connected with his big blue eyes and felt like I could sort of read his emotions. Not Monday. He was curling more into a fetal position and was all surrounded by white pillows and his eyes just looked off into space. He would make eye contact with me but I couldn't get a "read" from him. I decided it must be peace he was feeling and thought maybe Jesus was finally going to take him to his heavenly home. The nurse was very rude and made me angry more than once. After I was there for more than an hour, another nurse came in and they started talking about "the procedure" he would have in the morning. I was taken by surprise to learn that my father had signed a consent form to have him trached. I cried all the way home and was fearful this would end up being a bad thing for him.
As afraid as I was yesterday, I gathered enough courage and strength to go see him. I remember my mother being on a ventilator before her death and I wasn't loking forward to seeing my sweet little brother the same way. I was very surprised to see how much better he looked. He was a little more awake than before and tired to talk a couple of times. (that made him very agitated). He was attempting to scratch his forhead but I noticed he had no use of his fingers and was only able to use the back of his hand. He was still curling up in the fetal position while I was there. I left him not knowing what to think. I noted he looked more comfortable but I could not say I thought he looked better.
What a difference 24 hours makes. Mike and I went up at lunch time today and he was much straighter in bed and very alert. I handed him a photo and he was able to grasp it pretty well with his fingers and he was able to nod yes and no. He was so happy to see Mike, he hardly noticed I was there. I hope and pray the doctors are able to get him off the ventilator soon. I don't want him to have to learn how to live with a breathing tube coming out of his throat. Jody loves to talk and it will make him so sad if he can't talk anymore. The doctor said this will be his best shot at getting off the ventilator. So far so good. Thanks be to our Loving God! I know He is in control and has Jody's future all planned out. This boy just may have some more important work to do for God before He calls him home. He is in charge and we are not.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~Jeremiah 29:11